An Assortment of Thoughts

As part of my travel preparation, I have been reading similar blogs to mine for ideas and inspiration.  My favorite blog to date is My European Adventure by raisedbywildgrapes.

Raisedbywildgrapes left the great white north to explore the old country last year and has not gone back.  I stumbled across her blog when I searched for "one-way ticket to Barcelona" on google.  Expecting to find my blog post on my one-way ticket to Barcelona, I was surprised to find that another fledgling 23 year-old had had the same idea as me!  This adventurous Canuck posts some great stories and is a really good read for those planning a long-term stay in Europe.  Her stories on Italian Woofing have inspired me to trade meat and shoes for tofurkey and sandals for a few weeks after my first post-Jump leg of my trip.  Here is the link to her posts on Woofing in La bella Italia! http://raisedbywildapes.wordpress.com/category/wwoofing/

On a separate note...

It has come to my attention that the name I chose for this Google account could not be any lamer.  Erik Explorer.  Am I so unimaginative as to take Dora the Explorer's (No, I don't watch her show.  I have young cousins) last name?  In my defense, I was in a rush and want to keep my blog a secret from coworkers...no need to ruin the surprise of my resignation!

This also brings up the question as to why I have no pics or details on me.  The answer is pretty much the same.  Anonymity...for now.  Pictures to come soon in June!

Adventure Map

Looking for a way to distract my mind, I decided to sketch out the first 5 weeks of travel.  Plans are subject to change.

KEY

Black spotted lines stand for travel by plane; 

Solid red lines represent travel by train; and

Orange lines mean travel by boat.

These first 5 weeks will start and end in Barcelona.  The five weeks are split into 6 stages:

1) Acclimatization - Adapt to time difference by enjoying the Barcelona nightlife. Time allotted - 2 days.

2) Jewels of the East - Visit beautiful Prague, go back in time to Bratislava, and admire Budapest in 7 days by train.

3) The Far East - Make it (alive) to Sofia, Bulgaria by train then explore the Bulgarian coast by bus as I make my way to Istanbul.  Allotted time - 7 days

4) Island Hopping -  Make it to Thessaloniki, Greece from Istanbul.  Travel by boat to Los and Mykonos and end in Athens, all in 7 days.

5) Croatia - From Zagreb, make my way to the Croatian coast and visit its legendary and hidden towns and islands.  Allotted time - 8 days

6) Return to Home Base - From Zagreb, take a plane back to Barcelona.  Enjoy Barcelona for a few days to decide on a course of action.  Do I want to return to one of the previous destinations?  Where else do I want to go?  Barcelona will be a time to touch base with myself.

This plan is tentative and subject to change on mood shifts, rash decisions and tired legs that refuse to walk another mile.  Hopefully the fast pace of the trip will not be too much to handle.  If it is, I'll stop and rest and rethink my plan.

Girlfriend...the end

My girlfriend and I broke up yesterday.

Maybe it's how her head rests on her hands,
or  the color of her hair,
but this picture reminds me of her when she was sad

It wasn't terrible.  It wasn't devastating.  No lamps or plates were thrown.  Angry, accusatory words never left either one of our lips.

Our break up was expected and we both had prepared for it.  If anything it was sad, almost melancholic. Oddly enough, it was also relieving.

Sunday night we had a three hour long discussion on where we were going.  Originally we had decided to wean ourselves from each other.  A transition period defined by progressively limiting the time we spent together and doing "couples" things.

This transition period did not go well.  The rules were broken more often than followed.  We acted as if everything was ok, but behind the scenes my girlfriend's heart was being mercilessly crushed and I was emotionally taxed to an extent never experienced before.  Finally she confronted me about it.  She could do it no longer.

It was tough breaking up.  I was hoping to slowly grow apart from our relationship and into a friendship.  Having her disappear completely from my life was not something I wanted but it was unfair of me to expect her to easily transition into a friendship.  After all, I was leaving her to pursue my dreams, leaving her alone.

Her greatest complaint was that I was not putting "us" before everything else.  For the last few months of our relationship I had struggled with this accusation.  I knew she was right, that I placed myself and my well being and future ahead of our mutual future, I just did not know why.  I went through an existentialist retrospective period where I questioned myself, my actions and my direction in life.  The central question though was why am I leaving such an amazing girl?  Why would any guy do that?

It took me months to figure out that as a person, I am still figuring myself out.  I do not have a complete feeling of "wholeness".  It's as if I only know and can explain half of "me", who I am.  The other half is still unclear to me.  Not knowing myself fully and completely, and not knowing with 100% certainty what it was I wanted to do in life, I could not give my all to someone.  I need to concentrate on myself, and be ok with myself before I can be ok with making promises and meaningful commitments to others.  In summary, I was more than just hesitant to put all my energy in our relationship when, as a result of me not being "whole", I might change my mind or do things that would undermine our relationship.  That was a risk I was not willing to make.  The best part, the most relieving part of it was that she understood.  She even said she was in a similar phase herself.  We both agreed that while I deal with this lack of wholeness by doing radical things, she deals with it by getting more attached to, and depending on, people.  We also agreed we should work on how we deal with these things.

We hugged a lot, were sad for a lot of it but still managed to smile and even laugh several times throughout the entire conversation on Wednesday.  We agreed on no communication for a week, and then some texts.  We'll see what happens.  I miss her already and I know she misses me.  But this will give us both time to move on with our lives and really get to know ourselves better.  I feel like an 18 year old straight out of high school, not knowing what I want to do with my life.  I guess we never really know.  Eventually we have to decide on a path.  For now, I have decided the path I chose is not the right one for me (for now) and I must try all the other paths before I stick to one, or create my own.

It was the best break up I could have ever hoped for.  Mutual understanding out of love and respect made our break up peaceful.  I feel like we will be friends and that the bridge between us has not been burned.  Some day we might get back together.  Maybe we will not.  Either way, she will always have a very special place in my heart, and I know I will too in hers.

Traction

I'm very inspired today.  The feeling I'm experiencing is similar to a bear waking up from a winter slumber.  Waking up at 11 am, my first stop was the kitchen where I prepared a hearty breakfast of scrambled eggs on toast, chocolate milk, yogurt with apple and nuts.  Leaning back to a bed of pillows, I watched all four episodes of the new History show, Vikings.

Egg pan, compliments of my mom before I left to college.
Moms never intentionally mean to embarrass us, but are nonetheless very good at doing so.
I kept this miniature pan hidden until now, which I use to make perfectly round scrambled eggs for bagels. 

My wonderful, 3 hour breakfast-in-bed-watching-tv splurge was followed not by preoccupations of how I would make a living after leaving my job, or brooding over how stressful and burdensome life can be (I'm thinking taxes and laundry).  Instead I felt full of life, happily moving my furniture around and redecorating my room, shirtless.  Perhaps that is too much information, but its been a while since I've done that.  My roommate and I aren't that close and the house has been cold all winter.  But I somehow didn't feel cold and I felt that despite the pressure to get things in order before my move, everything would be ok.

Sitting outside on my porch in a hoodie and pj pants, watching the sun go down, I feel a flame of inspiration and hopefulness in me.  I want to do a sun salutation, plateauing in a handstand and ending in perfect formation on my porch.  A relic of my college days when I got hooked on yoga and took every possible class I could.  I'll admit it, I first took yoga to meet girls but by session 4 I was always in the first row instead of the back row.  Needles to say, to this day my male friends don't like to talk about my yoga obsession but my mom is very proud.

Unfortunately I am still going through physical therapy for my right shoulder sports injury.  I opt instead to go back inside to escape the 40 degree weather and plug my laptop to my Bose speakers to listen to some Calvin Harris.

Oh but where was I?  Oh yes, Traction.

Traction

With spring here and April almost upon us, the countdown stands at 11 weeks and 4 days to my departure to Barcelona.  9 weeks, 6 days to my last day at work and 6 weeks, 4 days until I break the news to my supervisor and, harder yet, to my coworkers.  The end of this 9-5 journey is definitely palpable.  I could try and fight it but inevitably I will have to confront those days.  I can meet them prepared or unprepared, and I'd rather do the former.

Deciding to take The Jump really got me going in this new direction.  Buying my one-way ticket to Barcelona marked the transition from thinking to doing and writing this blog reminds me of the promise I made to myself; to explore and enjoy life.

Traction in the world of entrepreneurship means validation by your target market of your product.  In other words, the point when consumers of your product accept and use/purchase the product/service and thus get the ball rolling for your idea.  In my case, my idea is my trip and validation are external events that get me going on my trip going.  For example, having a plane ticket pushes me to look at transportation and other costs in Eastern Europe.  Researching costs helps shape my travel route.  Another example would be the self-imposed resignation deadline and its effect on how I save money and mentally prepare to leave my job.  That, in essence, is traction.  Traction is also comparable to momentum like this seal rolling down a hill.

Traction and Happines

I think that my improved mood this week has a lot to do with traction.  Life is pretty much the same at the surface, yet underneath the mundane I am preparing myself in many ways to leave.  As the light at the end of the tunnel gets brighter, the brighter my days get.

Hey Kid, You Running Away?

Some days I feel completely demoralized.  Doubts creep up on me and everything I do becomes a metaphor, a symbol, any reason not to go on my new path or to question my new path (for non-depressing reading, skip to the below meme)

Questioning my path is good.  I reevaluate and reexamine in different lights and as a result gain new perspectives.  That is good.  It's bad when these thoughts are crippling. Today I was going to write about these doubts, my fears and the crippling anxiety.  But I'm not going to.

The one thing that keeps me going and strengthens my resolve is laughing at the ridiculousness of my previous adventures or just laughing about life itself.  Life is great and it must be enjoyed at its fullest.  I will bask in the glory of having lived adventurously...and in the silliness of enjoying the simple and random, like the picture below.

Random, unrelated meme I
chose only because it made me laugh

My first pre-adventure

Let's tie what has been written so far to the title; "Hey Kid, You Running Away?"

The old guy was less cool and more creepy
than this old gangsta

Not the exact words the baggy-jeans totting, hoodie-wearing, urinal smelling old man asked me at the greyhound bus stop back in February.  His words were closer to "you're running away from home, aren't ya?".  That was following the "how old are you?" and "do you want work? You can work for me at my hotel and do whatever you want" questions.





How did I get to telling him things you might ask.  Well quite honestly (and I hate to admit it) he skillfully employed player tactics to get me to reluctantly talk to him like a stuck up hot girl at a bar reluctantly talks to the persistent d-bag in the bar.  I hated every moment but could not shake him off!  To all those girls out there I ever forcefully entered a conversation with, I sincerely apologize.

It all started with the bad decision to sit a few seats over from an old lady and her 10 shopping bags.
That was my first mistake. Never sit next to or close to people with groceries!  Only crackheads and the homeless buy groceries in one city before boarding a greyhound bus to transport "groceries" to the next city.  Dig in through the grocery bags (I don't recommend it, they'll stab you with a needle if you do) and you'll find meth and weed beneath the lettuce leafs suspiciously placed over the other items.

The 10 shopping bags turned out to belong to an old lady and her older male friend.  At a glance they seemed like an ordinary, lower middle class couple.  It wasn't until the old man approached me that I noticed that under the hoodie his matted hair and dark eye circles gave him the appearance of a runaway serial killer.    He asked me if I could keep an eye out on their precious cargo while he and, in his own words, "new lady friend" grabbed a cup of coffee from the small greyhound store 10 feet away.  I told him that was fine but that I might have to leave soon.

When they came back 10 mins later, the man extended a smelly hand to thank me.  I knew something was wrong.  No, it wasn't that each finger had a different tatto on it or that he approached me angling his body sideways.  If I had to take a wild guess it was the mischievous look in his eyes, his invasion of my personal space and his deep, low almost whispering voice.

I tried shrugging him away after I reluctantly shook his dirty hand.  Shaking his hand was the hardest thing I had done in months.  I had no purel hand sanitizer on hand and I wanted to eat my chips.  What kept me from not shaking his hand was the fear of a bloody needle piercing my neck in a split instant.

He asked my name to which I gave the fastest bogus name I could come up with: Derrick Erickson.  He then asked me where I was going.  Half scared to death, but still keeping my wits with me, I replied with an answer: "where are you going?".  If he said Nashville I was cancelling my ticket.  Luckily he said Cincinnati.  "Phew!  That was a close one!"   I thought to myself.  I was only half right.

The guy proceeded to ask me where I lived.  I bluntly asked him why he wanted to know.  He avoided the question by asking me if I was looking for a job to which I replied no.  My answer went over his head as he asked if I could make a side-trip to Cincinnati to interview with him and his arthritis gang for a job.  Cincinnati was east and I was heading south so a little out of my way.  He then asked if I could see him at his hotel at a sketchy part of town, offering me the offer of a lifetime to do anything I wished to do.  Again I had to refuse.

You may be asking, how did I escape?  Easily.  Old man and lady lover (who by the way had dried up blood on her nose) were going to white castle for a late night snack.  When I politely refused to go with them  they asked if I could keep an eye out on their groceries.  This time I happily obliged.  Anything to make them leave!  When they were gone, I snuck off to the opposite end of the building and sat behind a pillar.  I still texted a friend all the physical descriptors I could of the duo.  They could always come back...

My adventure to Nashville and back was pretty cool.  Too many stories to share in one blog post, but one quick one to share is the moment I realized the source of the poop smell in the bus.  The source was in fact a used diaper, wait for it, UNDER MY SEAT!!  Not about to reach for it, I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.

Awesomeness Is In Our Nature

People were designed to be awesome.

We were meant to defy the odds and succeed!

Humans are extraordinary creatures.  If you doubt it, watch this video.

           

A Visual Representation of The Jump

The Jump is still a few months away for me yet I can't stop wondering how it will be.  Instead of writing my thoughts in detail, pictures and videos will represent the different outcomes.

A visual interpretation

Jumping has many outcomes.  I can take flight, belly flop to the ground, be swept up by an eagle (how cool would that be?).  Here are some of the many possibilities from best to worst.

The Rebound

I lied.  Before we start from best to worst, here's the coolest outcome.

Sometimes there is no other way to go but down, but down isn't forever!  This video is a metaphor for a second chance; the rebound jump takes you higher than ever before.  At the height of the rebound, gravity starts pulling you back down to end the trip in a magnificent splash.  The cycle starts again and you, knowing it didn't kill you, are more comfortable taking another Jump.

Taking Flight

Let's start with the ideal outcome.  Run, Jump and take flight!  Cruising through the air, the world is reduced to a legoland.  My descent is slow and planned.

Gliding

Remind me to Jump off this cliff.  The view is absolutely stunning!

Jumping from a cliff in the Norwegian fjords, this basejumper describes the before, during and after experience.  His Jump is off a mountain cliff, mine is off a metaphorical cliff yet there are so many parallels between his jump and the jump to cubicle-job liberation.

The absolute worst

Belly flopping.  It stings and the red skin marks are a constant reminder of your, well, failure.  You learn from your mistakes.  You'll do anything to avoid this outcome again.

Be prepared

Don't be caught unprepared.  Planning improves the odd of a nice flight or glide!

If You're Gonna Jump, Stretch First!

I couldn't find a movie clip.
This is the best picture I could find.

In preparation for The Jump, I'm doing all the leg stretching in the world to be well prepared.  Cramping up before propelling myself off the cliff would be a bad start, especially if I don't jump high and far enough to clear that dead tree jutting 5 feet below the edge of the cliff.  Worst case scenario, I freak out and turn my jump into a cart-wheel and end up dangling in the cliff brush like Marshal in Forgetting Sarah Marshal.

Eastern Europe, here I come!

Aaah cheap, beautiful Eastern Europe; where all the food, drinks, lodging and entertainment can be acquired for a few pennies!  For those of you under 25, the movie Euro-trip might come to mind.

Now I know enough about Eastern Europe (and am a rational human being) to know that a few US coins will not get you personal concierges, lodging at a 5 star hotel and VIP service at posh nightclubs in Bratislava  .  EE is significantly cheaper than her Western European twin but by how much?  If I was to travel the eastern side of the gorgeous continent, an estimate of travel costs was necessary.  For this I looked to my fellow bloggers out there for guidance.

Travelling in the backpacks of giants

By far the three best resources for calculating trip expenses of an adventurous, experience through the former Soviet bloc were Nomadic Matt, Lonely Planet and Nomadic Mike.  Below is a quick run of each source and the relevant information found on their site.

Nomadic Mike 

A quick Google search for "cost of traveling Eastern Europe" found me this excellent blog!  Nomadic Mike is a serial nomad whose goal is to inspire others to travel and show people it is possible to travel first class on a budget.  If his superbly built blog and amazing articles aren't enough to believe him, just read one of the many articles written on him by major media companies.

Nomadic Mike offers guides, shares experiences and offers first class advice on traveling.  I used his post "The Cost of Travelling Far Eastern Europe" and similar ones to calculate my travel costs through EE.  He does a wonderful job of breaking down the costs and then totaling them up for you.  His fondness for sushi drives up the price of his estimates.  Travel while not on a sushi kick and your costs should be fewer.

Using his estimates I should spend roughly $40 a day for food, lodging and other expenses.

Naughty Nomad

Naughty Nomad is exactly that, a very naughty nomad.  A self-described globetrotting, border jumping, drug smuggling, adrenaline-seeking, international debaucher (his words, not mine), this Scottish adventurer lives to travel the world on the fast - and near lethal - lane.  Naughty Nomad, aka Mark Zolo, keeps a blog replete with his adventures, travel routes, experiences and advice to other travelers.  Oriented towards a younger male audience looking for sex, drugs and fun, he focuses on advice and experiences to create an adrenaline-pumping site that rivals most action packed sports.  That is not to say there isn't any non-hooking up and getting high advice.

Naughty Nomad has a quick facts sheet for each city he has pillaged.  At the top of each city guide is an average cost section.  The average cost of beer, bed, bud, board and other are listed.  Very useful to estimate costs!  His Top 5 Destinations in the Balkans post inspired me to visit Belgrade, Skopje, Sarajevo, Hvar Island and a tour of Montenegro.

By his estimates, I should expect to doll out around €45 a day or USD 58.75 a day if using today's conversion rate.  And I overestimated my expenses.  Not a bad price to pay to enjoy life in new and exciting places!

Lonely Planet

While not a blog, Lonely Planet is the absolute authority on globetrotting. Suffice it to say you can find pretty much the answer to any budget or backpacking travel question ever asked in our modern age!  Lonely Planet has published several guide books.  I suggest looking at them if only to see the stunning pictures and read the comprehensive country tips!  Seriously, take a look at Lonely Planet.  Their forum section is almost as informational as the site itself.

Using Lonely Planet I estimated my expenses to run at $40 a day in EE.

Not so cheap after all

I guess travelling to Eastern Europe isn't as cheap as the movies would have us believe.  Cheaper than Western Europe?  Definitely! Staying at an ok hostel alone will cost at least 25 euros a night and food is crazy expensive there!

Roughly having an estimate of my expenses is great!  I definitely feel my legs stretching out.  I know what I am looking at (cost wise) and can plan ahead for it!  

Stretching has just begun, but I can already feel my legs loosening up.

Girlfriend

Today was a rough one.

My girlfriend came over after work to "talk".  No, it wasn't The Talk. She tried convincing me not to leave, not to travel, to stay.

It's been an uphill battle, an emotional roller coaster to explain why I must change lifestyles and live unpredictably and adventurously...at least until I've had my fill.  But is it until I've had my fill, or is it a permanent lifestyle?  If so, how do I eventually consolidate both my wants: one, really explore the world to the best of my ability and two, have a family down the road.

An option is to explore now, develop a relationship later and start a family much later.  The issue I see with this option is what happens if my adventurous lifestyle becomes incompatible with a long-term relationship or marriage?  My girlfriend has already clearly said that I can travel my way, stay with her but not both.  Incompatible.

Another option is to travel less adventurously.  Live in a way that my girlfriend is ok with.  The issue in this one is how to live adventurously if I have to always be close to a phone or have internet access?  An even greater obstacle is traveling without being away from my girlfriends' side for more than 3 days.  Yes, she is emotionally high maintenance (her words, not mine.  I agree with her) and ideally for her we would be with each other 22 out of the 24 hours of the day.  She's not crazy and gives me plenty of space (I like my space) but even so, she can't imagine us being away from one another for more than a week.

But I love her.  Love her enough to tell her the true state of my mental health.  I'm unhappy living this life and I'm nomadic at heart.  How can I make her happy if I'm depressed?  How can she enjoy me if I'm down?

Trust me, I've shared these points with her.  She understands...yet she doesn't.  She wants to be with me and  finds new questions to prod at my theory or finds angles that can turn my arguments upside down.

I'm not escaping this life, or her.  I'm finding my direction.  I don't want to lose her, but sadly I think I will.  Doesn't matter how much two people love one another, I don't think two people should stay together if they have different goals and opposing perspectives on life that will lead them to different lifestyles.

Anyways, we're talking tomorrow again.  I'm preparing for a long conversation lasting until 11 or 12. Exhausting but necessary, especially if you love the other person.

To stay or to go?

Obviously for me it is go, but what things will I pack in my suitcase and which ones will I leave behind?  Will I ever come back for things I should have never left behind?

I wonder what others would do in my situation?

One-Way Ticket to Barcelona

As I mentioned a few days ago, my ticket is bought and friends and family know of my plan to saying adios! to my damn cubicle (but I'll miss most of my coworkers, especially those that help the days go by fast).

My excitement cup filling up to the brim, I try as hard as I can to stop it from overflowing.  All efforts are futile.  I have way too much to plan and to do before I leave and the fact that I have only bought a one-way ticket out of the States and no return ticket only adds to the excitement.  But why stop it from overflowing?  After all, the whole point of quitting my job and pursuing an adventurous life is to feel alive with excitement! Instead of excitement restraint I should get a bigger, larger cup.  Maybe a jug. Or a keg.

Purchasing the ticket was harder than expected.  First I had to make the transition from thinking to doing.  Procrastination was a leal friend.  Having too many options was worst of all.  What city should I fly to?  How do I get the cheapest flight?  How do I get from city 1 to my next destination?  How many steps in advance should I plan for?!  Buy a ticket the day after I quit work or a month later?  It was an overwhelming undertaking...at first.  Then I remembered my own advice and took one step at a time.

I broke it down to a few steps.  

First I chose the last day of work.  May 31st.  Second I estimated how long it would take to finish straightening out all my shit (sell furniture, bed and car) after I quit.  I gave myself a one week deadline.  Then I looked for flights leaving anytime after my deadline (June 8th).

Time frame in mind, I set out to looking for candidate cities.  Doing a quick search in travel blogs and websites I settled for the following cities.  Frankfurt, Germany; London; Barcelona, Spain; Paris, France.  Why these cities?  Leaving the States isn't cheap.  I had a better chance of finding cheap(er) tickets out of the US to the old world if I looked for flights to these cities.  And why not these cities?  Being greeted by delicious Parisian dishes or by London's incredible architecture would not be a bad first stop.

Now I had to find cheap flights.  The usual bargain/discount sites all offered the same flights costing $800 and up one way.  Most options included 1-3 layovers or offered terrible flight times.  Let down, I confided my defeat to a good friend who happens to travel a lot.  He suggested using a Google software to find the real, cheap tickets.  I gave the site a try and although skeptical at first I soon fell in love with it!

Here is how to do it: 

Fill out the search query and the program scans for the cheapest flights out there.  As with anything Google, it is easy to use and the results clearly laid out.   The best part is, they make no money from finding the cheapest flights!  Tickets cannot be bought or sold on the site.  You have to find and purchase the flights discovered by Google online or directly from the airline.  The program will not do this for you.  The name of the program is ITA Software by Google and you can access it here.  I found a cheap flight ($400!!) leaving from Chicago on June 12th at 9 pm and arriving at Barcelona the next morning.

It took me a while to find the tickets online.  I did not trust purchasing my ticket directly from the airline so I bought it from Cheapoair.com.  Cheapoair usually offers you most plane tickets out there and you can purchase cancellation protection (money back if tickets are not purchased by Cheapoair or if you cancel your travel) and travelers insurance for a measly $20.  Cheapoair offers their own promo discounts which pretty much covers the $20 insurance package (google "Cheapoair discounts" or click here) I found the ticket, included the insurance package, filled out payment information and immediately hit enter.  Ok, maybe not immediately.  I may have panicked for a good 15 minutes.  But I eventually shook off the rationalization fairy from my shoulder and hit enter.

The safe route or the exciting option

I'm debating on whether to purchase a return ticket to some other US city or not.  I could plan out the next legs of my journey (if only to take advantage of the early-bird cheap prices) but I could also wait until I get there to plan ahead.  The former is safer, the latter is more, well, adventurous.  My gut feeling is to buy a return ticket to a US city where I have relatives who would take me in while I planned my next adventure.  Cheapoair offers cancellation protection so I could always cancel my flight a week or two before if everything went well.  I love adventure, but safety precautions should always be taken.

Recap

One-way ticket to Barcelona in the bag. Next step is to purchase a refundable, safety-plan return flight to the States.  Plan the next few steps of my trip to snatch those dirt-cheap prices ahead of time.  After that I should start figuring out what to do with all my personal belongings and my car.

All this can wait tomorrow morning.  It's almost 11 and I should go to bed.  Monday mornings are bad enough as it is.  Sleep deprivation would only make it worse.

Good night fellow explorers!

Adventures awaiting to happen! Stay tuned

Coming soon, The Flight/Fall (hopefully The Flight)

Diary entries coming soon!

RoadMap

You can travel with no destination in mind, but traveling without a map will get you lost.  This post is your (mine too, I get lost easily) map to navigating my blog.

Chapter 1

An introduction to me and why I decided to embark on this life-changing journey (WhyTF are you doing this?!!) Check it out here

Index

A guide to navigating NomadicExplorations.

Diary of a crazed nomad

A diary of my life as it happens.  If I stop posting it probably means I was abducted by Albanian traffickers, incarcerated by corrupt Mexican cops or dead.  End of story.  Find another blog to follow.  Read about it here

Adventures

Recounting the stories of my adventures.  Be prepared to laugh (mostly at me), be surprised and mostly entertained.  Based on my past experiences (pre-blog) I won't disappoint   Follow my path and share the experiences with me!

The Jump

Diary, Ponderings, Advice and Motivational tag posts that deal with my life starting at some point between the awakening (when I realized I no longer wanted to lead the stable, comfortable life) to the moment I take The Jump (somewhere between the time I quit my job and the moment I board the plane).   Leap off the precipice with me here

The Flight/Fall

Diary, Ponderings, Advice and Motivational tag posts that deal with my life after the Jump.  Read it here

Advice

Lessons learned I think will be useful to anyone also seeking to take The Jump.  Learn here

Motivational

Feeling down, sad and nervous at the thought of leading a new life?  Welcome to the club!  These posts describe how I deal with these feelings.  Hopefully reading them will help you too.  Cheer up here

Ponderings

Pretty much self-explanatory, a place where I share my thoughts on my new life path.  Insights into my thoughts here

On Not Regretting Life Decisions

My life has been turned upside down ever since December 2012.  The holiday season was at its peak and I was at my low.  Unhappy, sad, depressed but worse of all in denial, my terrible state was obvious to no one, not even me.  Around friends I was smiles and always talkative - when I had the time -.  I was no different around family.  My life a success after college, nothing could possibly be wrong in my life.  That's what we all thought.

Working life is great...unless you don't like it

From the first day of my job search up until, well, recently, was all about following the acceptable and "natural" progression of life.  College, internships, a job with benefits after college that pays well (that's were I'm at) I was following the rule book step-by-step.  Attending college had been a no brainer; a good education and a fun experience, it put me in an advantageous position over many people.  A job was part necessity part fitting in.  I wanted financial independence and stability (need) but I also wanted to fit in with my peers who were either looking for a job or applying to grad school (fitting in).  The problem was there was no want or absolute desire in the equation.  While the job sounded exciting and I believed in the mission of the organization I had no burning desire to work 9-5 at a cubicle.  This realization did not come to me until December.

Life with no regrets.  Not yet.

College I don't regret.  Getting a 9-5 job isn't a regret either.  I believe that those life experiences that impact you the most are the ones to learn from the most.  Had I never worked a 9-5 I probably would have never decided to take this new life path, or even written this blog.  It taught me what I don't like to do in life.  I learned something new about myself through trial and error.  Mistakes (or as I like to call them, life experiences) shape us, teaching us more about ourselves than the happiest experiences.  The key is to learn from those experiences and take the necessary steps to change accordingly.  Without change, life stays the same and when our path remains unaltered we are prone to regretting our choices.

The next step

My next step is to take steps towards a life more of my liking.  Here's what I've learned these past two years:

1) Waking up at 6:30 am M-F is not for me.  I may have adapted to it but I hate it.  I could do 8 am.

2) I hate sitting in a cubicle with no sunlight.  Whatever I do next, there will be windows where I work.

3) My butt cheeks don't like to hold my weight up for 8 hours a day.  They like to stretch.  Less sitting and more standing please.

4) Independence in my work is a whole lot better than working for someone else.  I want to work on my projects in my fashion.  Advice and constructive feedback I can take, even working with others for joint goals is fine.  I can even work for someone I just want a freer hand in how I do things.

These are not very specific at all.  Most people would agree with me on these points.  The majority of people don't have the luxury or taken the steps to accomplish their working goals.  I will try to.

Taking these points into mind, I will use it as a guideline in life.  Reverting to this list will hopefully keep me from working a cubicle job again.

Calming Your Pre-Separation (Pre-Partnum) Fears

You've made your decision to leave.  Now you actually have to plan for it!

I am leaving for good in June.  Ticket has been booked!  Yet there is a lingering sense of apprehension for my trip.  Nothing compared to how I felt 5 am the very morning of  (and three weeks before) buying my ticket.

The Fight to Flight and Pre-Partum Fears

Before I go into how to stop feeling so nervous let me explain one thing.  There are two types of pre-Jump fears.  First is the decision phase.  Should I quit my job and follow my path to freedom or should I keep the status quo?  I call this the "fight to flight" because of the instinctive (and logical) reaction by the smarter side of you to keep your stable and comfortable life.  The second is the pre-separation fear.  It is the how am I going to quit and follow my new chosen path?  Our second fear I call "Pre-Partnum", a reference to postpartnum depression.  This post is on the second fear.  Mostly because I dealt with it most recently.

Pre-Pertnum

Or before parting with your life as you know it now.  Not a scary thought at all, is it?  Move out of the house with a lovely backyard and bubbling Jacuzzi, maybe sell the head-turning M-series, or maybe it's not the material things you'll miss.  The early morning coffee with your roommates from the same coffee maker you've had since college, Friday night hang-out with your friends at a local bar the list goes on and on.  How is this different than Fight to Flight?  You have made your decision and you know you must follow through with it.  There is very little fight to revert your decision back and more sadness and fear of the consequences of your impending trip.

How to ease your pre-partnum fear

Fear of parting will never fully go away until you strap on the ridiculous airplane seat-belt.  I say ridiculous because wearing the seat belt will not magically stop those strapped under it from plummeting to the ground at hundreds of miles per hour to an almost certain death.  But don't let my skepticism  discourage you from traveling.  Airplane crashes are rare.

From my experience and my experience only, here are the following remedies to ease your pre-partnum fears.  These fears include, but are not limited to, waking up at 5 am with a savage stomachache, constant nervousness, extreme fluctuations throughout the day between euphoria and a nervous breakdown, a nervous breakdown, diarrhea, constipation, cold sweat at night, inability to concentrate, a loss of appetite.  I had these all within a three week period and I still get a few of the above once in a while but at 5% of their former strength.

1) Take the first step.  Buy the ticket.  Buy it!!  Purchasing the airplane, bus, rickshaw, boat ticket is the very first step to alleviate symptoms.  Once I bought the ticket and let an electrifying jolt of excitement thunder through my body I felt a total sense of relaxation.  Clicking the "submit" button after entering my credit card information was my commitment to my plan.  Like anything else in this world, once you actually do it, everything else follows.  You're actually there, on the spot focusing on actively planning your next steps and not just thinking about it.  It is the same with writing an essay in college, working on a project for work or buying a car.  The task appears overwhelming from a distance.  Start working on it and the immensity of the project cuts down to smaller, manageable pieces.

2) Share your plans with more people.  One person isn't enough.  A marriage is not official unless others recognize it.  If no one knows of your plans, retracting from the plan is an easy thing to do.  Telling more people about your plans forces you to work towards your goal.  Friends and family will press you forward. Plus, saying your plans out loud helps organize your thoughts.  Enough verbal repetition and the plans and goals become believable.

3) Monitor expenses and savings.  Keeping track of finances reassures you are on track with projected savings for the transition period.  Checking the savings account every hour is not advised.  If this is happening, you may want to postpone your adventure.

4) Go to bed early.  Falling asleep at 1 am makes the body feel tired and puts it in a subpar mental and physical condition increasing anxiety and depression.

5) Go to bed late.  But that contradicts point 4!  If the previous point has no positive effect on your body or you simply cannot go to bed early for whatever reason, go to bed late.  Sleeping late exhausts the mind and body to the point that waking up frequently throughout the night or at an inconvenient time (think 3 minutes before your alarm goes off) .

6) Eat plenty of yogurt.  Stress can either loosen the bowels or cause your intestines to back up like a clogged sewage pipe.  Yogurt keeps those pipes clean and strangely enough helps reduce the times you go to the bathroom (at least for me it does).

There are many other stress-reduction strategies.  Some I have tried others I haven't.  Right now I'm just too exhausted to continue writing.  I'm following my own advice and practicing point 5.  Goodnight!

The Rationalization Fairy

Leaving a job you worked so very hard to get is, well, hard to do.

As miserable as you may be, the rationalization fairy whispers words of doubt to persuade you from taking another career path.  The most common ones are:

1) "You have worked too hard to let it all go"

You can't possibly quit!  Years of bad sitting posture and carpel tunnel-accelerating clicking should not have been in vain!  You worked hard in order to work harder (and earn some money), don't waste the efforts of your dystrophy-inducing days!

A very convincing argument.  It is fair to say that your efforts have led you to your current situation, but on the other hand your efforts have also led you to the realization that you cannot possible continue on this path of age acceleration!  All information and experience is transferable from one aspect of life to another.  In other words, skills and knowledge learned in one career are applicable in another career or job.  Half of all people with law degrees (at least in the US) are not lawyers, but the knowledge gained from law school in invaluable in other career paths and endeavors!

2) "You will not make enough money in (enter activity of choice)"

Mr./Mrs. Fairy's argument is once again, valid.  Before you embark on your new path, consider the income level needed to maintain a life-style of your choice.  To do this, determine your average living expenses per month (rent, food, insurance, gas/public transportation) and then add an extra 15% of that total for unforeseen incidentals.  Do not low-ball your cost per living.  It is better to have excess reserves/income than to be short on money every month!  Once you've calculated your cost of living, calculate how much you would make in your endeavor/new job.  Does it cover your monthly expenses?  If not, how long can you live off of your savings?  Determining a Plan B should you start running into financial problems is a MUST and will add the extra benefit of peace of mind.

If you are one of those people that love living lavishly then you might be out of luck.  For our extravagant livers (nothing wrong with it), see if you can come up with a side-business that could eventually replace your source of income so you can follow a path of freedom and exploration!

3) "If you quit, you will let your friends and family down"

Some family members and friends will go farther than simply not understanding.  They may not be accepting or supportive of your decision to quit your current job.  Depending on your relationship with them, take the time to explain your motivations and have them "see the light".  If you're not meeting the expectations they have of you, then perhaps they will eventually understand that happiness is better than a successful career of their choice.  You will be "successful" in the path you choose to take (with careful planning and realistic goal-setting).  Share your successes with them so that they may understand you better.  If all else fails you can tell them to screw themselves (but only if you have to).

Those of you with understanding friends and family: Rejoice!!  You're the lucky ones!  Share your thoughts, plans and ideas.  You'll get great, constructive feedback (except from the d-bag doomsayers) that will carry your plans on to new heights!

4) "You will FAIL!!"

"F" you fairy! You're an exaggerating b****.  (Enter expletive words of choice)!!!

But seriously, a well-thought, realistic plan with flexibility and a Plan B will ensure you do not fail.  If you succeed, congratulations!  If you do not meet your goals, take your exit strategy and learn from your experience.  Falling short of your goals is not failure unless you do not learn from it.

5, 6, 7....

Doubts and concerns will always be there.  Diffuse the stress these arguments create in your life by coming up with solutions to them.  Finding a solution and realizing the worst-case scenario is not ever as bad as we think it is will bring peace of mind and keep you regular.

The rationalization fairy is not your enemy, but the "con" side of your pro and con list.  Take the concerns and address them but do not over think them.  It is a waste of time and neurons to constantly stress over them.

The Jump

The last post (also my first) was supposed to be short and concise but it ended up being a semi-angry, steam-blowing post.  I explained my motivations (in too much detail) for quitting my current easy and predictable life.  This post will quickly summarize why I want to quit, what I plan on doing and how I will get there.  And I really mean quickly because it's almost 9 pm my time and I'm really tired from work and I still have several things do to before the night is over! Oh the life of the working, modern person!

The Jump  

Disclaimer:  The Jump is a metaphor.
Don't literally jump off a cliff!

The jump from the known to the uncharted, the predictable to the unpredictable, the stable to the ever-changing.  I will go up to my boss and bring him the news that in three weeks time I will be turning in my resignation letter.  I could wait until it's two weeks and save me the pain of dealing an extra week with half-angry, half-envious co-workers who will give me their two cents on my resignation...whether I want to hear it or not.  But I don't hate my co-workers or my supervisor or the organization I work for, quite simply I was not made for 8 hour shifts in a sunless cubicle, turning my butt cheeks into silly putty, so I will give them enough time to start looking for a replacement.

Why quit?  I don't want to spend my youth living a predictable, comfortable life when I only have one life to live and there is so much to do and see!  I'm not being a rebellious child with no sense of responsibility.  I will work hard on my online businesses during my trips and adventures and take part-time jobs.  Why wait to retire when you can have many mini-retirements throughout your life?

The Flight...or Fall

Hopefully much will be learned travelling and exploring, sailing my ship of to a destination unknown.  If I fail in my online business pursuits, or succumb to the pressures of insecurity, instability and financial uncertainty I can always start a 9-5 job again.  That would be the fall.  Succeeding in traveling and sustaining myself would be considered the flight, choppy as it may be at the start.

Taking The Leap

To Jump my legs need to be strong enough to carry me to the cliff and my mind strong enough to overcome my survival instinct to do something as insane as to jump off a mountain. Leaping starts long before I throw myself from the cliff...it starts with mental preparation and physical conditioning months before I ever get to the cliff.  That  is where I am at right now, and I get cold feet every 10 minutes.  But I will save that for another post.

To Leap I need to save enough to survive on my own without any income for at least 6 months.  My body should be in shape to carry me through my adventures.  My determination must be as hard as rock or otherwise succumb to fear and pressure.  These have become my main obstacles up to date.  But again, more on that in further posts.

Time to get ready for tomorrow's workday.  Maybe I'll have time tomorrow to write another post.

The Jump...renamed to The Rant

I was scared shitless.  No, scratch that.  I am scared shitless.

A great job, a beautiful girlfriend, a successful career and a comfortable life guaranteed for the rest of my life, and I am going to leave it all.  Why in the world would I do that?  How could anyone in their right mind leave such an enticing and sought after life?

A comfortable life. Those three words frighten me more than my fear of drowning or burning at a stake.  Not that I'm a bad swimmer or a witch living in 17th century Massachusetts.  Those are just my two greatest fears, as unlikely as it may be unless my travels lead me to an unfortunate death in a boiling pot of gold in the Amazon rain-forest like a Spanish conquistador of old.  But I digress.

A little bit about me

My entire life I have been successful at what I do.  Much of it I owe to my parents who pushed me to my intellectual limits despite my stubbornness.  The rest I owe it to my own competitive and I'll-prove-you-wrong personality.  I'm not proud of being a competitive, stubborn dick who goes to great lengths to prove others are wrong about me or what is possible in this life, but that's who I am.  The past 5 years of my life have been an uphill battle against myself to tone down my less than pleasant personality traits, including my stubbornness, competitiveness and quite frankly being an asshole (whether intentionally or not) and a jerk more often than not.  I have toned down these traits a lot, but I will never completely rid myself of them.  I wouldn't want to either since these traits are beneficial when I have control over them and not vice versa.

A Successful life but an unhappy one

I passed high school with a International Baccalaureate (IB) diploma as well as a normal High School diploma (The IB program is the International equivalent of the AP Honors program).  I completed my bachelor's education at a large, prestigious university double majoring and picking up two language minors.  I speak Spanish fluently to the extent that native Spanish speakers are confused when I tell them I'm American.  My Italian is conversational but nothing exceptional.  I understand basic German and French and can understand Portuguese when I read it.  I started working at a prestigious organization 2 weeks after graduating from college in one of their most sought out career tracks.  Before that, I had an internship every summer of my four-year college life.

I was slightly mad when I wrote this

Before I lose myself in this narcissistic rant let me get to my point.  I am well traveled, educated and successful.  I've worked my ass off to get where I am and spent a large part of my youth working hard for the success and opportunity I now have.  I even did what every college professor, career counselor and mother mercilessly beat into your head: get a job you're passionate about!!  Well now I'm the poster child of the perfect son, a true, living example of the perfect college grad and I hate it.  I absolutely hate it.  The happiness I thought I would find on this path is an empty shell.  I like to describe it as a delicious, crisp looking, deceitfully bright red apple at a grocery store.  Not your average apple, and on top of that you are absolutely starved.  You buy the apple and the second you walk out of the store you bite into it only to bite into a soft brown mush.  You eat it because you're stomach is swelling from how starved you are (exaggeration) and it quenches your hunger but you're not happy.  The apple was deceitfully good looking but it wasn't what you thought it would be.  That's the reality of the stable, 9-5 job.  And I absolutely hate it.

How is a stable 9-5 job with benefits and a predictable, comfortable life a bad thing you might ask?  "Seriously dude", you may be thinking, "you need to be happy to have a great job, especially in this economy.  Stop complaining while others are desperately looking for jobs, and most of all, stop bragging about your success".  Well here's the thing people.  The 9-5 job is boring as hell and it sucks the life out of you.  Even despite my success, financial duress has been a reliable partner up until I got my job.  You wake up at 6:30am to get ready, then work and deal with corporate bullshit, leave work to do laundry, groceries or work out or any other chore for an hour or two and then you're too tired to do anything else but sit in front of the TV and fall asleep watching re-runs of Friends or Seinfeld mistakenly believing your mood will improve or you will find the energy to do anything else.  The next morning you wake up at 6:30 am from your couch still half dressed from the day before and the cycle repeats itself.  The weekends aren't any better.  "I get to sleep in!" is what you tell yourself.  "Fool" says your body says the next morning at 7 am, just around the time you normally stop hitting the snooze button during the week.  Grudgingly you wake up and lay in your bed wondering how in the world will you get everything there is to do done before the weekend is over.

How can this be living?  My above description isn't the best at demonizing the 9-5 work week, but seriously people, why do we give up the best hours of our day, the sunlight, the breeze, the adventures of the world to work in an office or cubicle?  "Bills!" "That's life!"  "What else would I do?" "Money!"  "A nice car!"  "Retirement!" Those are the most common answers I hear.  Valid answers all of them but fuck, there's got to be some other way to achieve those things without slaving 8 hours a day.  And this applies to all age groups. The youth should not spend the apex of their physical lives sitting in a desk chair.  Middle aged people want to enjoy their families, and who knows what seniors want.  I'm not a senior so I wouldn't know but I damn straight know 0% of seniors dream of working at the entrance of a Walmart, exacerbating their arthritis and knee problems.

And I was still mad...

So back to my original thought.  A comfortable life.  Fuck it.  I'm young and I am eager to taste more of the world than just the farts of my coworker sitting in the cubicle next to me.  I want to live adventurously and experience the wonderful and exciting things this world has to offer!  Two weeks of vacation time a year just doesn't cut it and weekends are too short to accomplish anything meaningful or fun without time pressures and monetary constraints.  Every single friend of mine and friend-of-a-friend and even many of my coworkers who are now friends with me have confessed that a million dollars in their bank account or winning the lottery would be followed by a resignation letter on their supervisor's desk the next day.  The age range is vast, therefore it's not just about me being young and rebellious.  Indentured servitude isn't really my thing and I'm resolved to become a master of my own fate, even if that fate puts me face-to-face with poverty, hardships and a shot or two of desperation.  I know it is possible to succeed and live well outside of the 9-5 job.  Just ask Tim Ferris and the thousands of people that post their success stories on his blog.  Ask the millions of successful entrepreneurs, independent online worker, bloggers, travelers, website owners who have done it.  If they did it why can't I?  Why can't you?

My plan

Here's my plan.  I'm quitting end of May or end of June to travel.  I will work on my online business ideas following Tim Ferris's guidelines, learning from success stories and using common sense.  This blog will be my silent shrink.  My doubts, concerns, plans, ideas will be posted on this blog but my focus will be on my adventures both past, present and those I hope to live...and live through (for a more accurate description of my plan visit my About Me page.  Perhaps other people with a desire to travel or live a non-9-5 work-week can learn something from my blog or I from them if they kindly post on my blog.  Mostly this blog (for now) is to express my scared-shitless, diarrhea-inducing fear of losing everything I worked so hard to get and taking a jump into the unknown.  The only way to know if my parachute will work is to take the jump off the cliff.  That is what it feels like.  Actually I take that back, it feels like jumping off a cliff with a parachute building kit. I have time to build the parachute (the online business) and actually use it (sufficient income) before I hit the rocks below (game over).  Luckily for me it's not really game over.  I get to restart...working another 9-5 job.  It may be life-sucking but I at least I can say I tried.  Now it's time to prepare for the jump.

Now I must get another chamomile tea to further soothe my nerves.